2419

THE 2419 EXPERIENCE.
My reflexes are no yet well. I have consumed three weeks of my Summer into nothingness. I got sick again and was hospitalized for a week. =( Summer is something I always look forward to, but apparently, it is too – my enemy. There’s absolutely no choice of Summer ever passing leaving me totally unscathed. It will always try to get me. And this Summer’s relapse had totally knocked me out bigtime. My rashes started consuming and appearing last January, but I completely ignored them, knowing it’s only from stress and it’ll go away too. But things kept me and attention away from it and they completely got me finally. I didn’t know that as weeks passed, it were growing bad inside of me and when I hit summer’s edge, bam – it hit me squarely. I lost the battle thoroughly at this time’s relapse.


My doctors had advised my mom not to enroll me for this semester. Pretty bad. I’m missing out a whole semester and have been forced to five-months freedom – a retreat of some sort so I can gain my strength back and completely rest. I’m not sure if that is a good idea. I mean, really. I love school and I would love to go back and won’t want to be left behind, something of the sort that I don’t want to go back to. When I was a kid, I was a top student at my school. I was always first honor and top at all subjects and areas. I was best. But then, I got sick and my mom had to pull me out of school when I was a kid. Ten years it was too – long, grueling hard years it was to be away from people, school and the normal things. I had no choice back then, I was a kid. I should’ve been a college grad already last 2008. But it was only 2006 that I managed to go back to regular school and entered as college freshman last 2008. I was a long and hard journey to make. The things other people learned in years, I had to learn in months to pass an acceleration exam and make it in the right level of education for my age.


Now that I had been pulled out of school for a semester, I have to sort of return to that kind of life. It scares me a bit, but at the same time I’m enticed by the idea of it. I have freedom in my hands – long five months. I don’t need anymore to do crappy things that really just waste my time for the sake of grades that are even given biasedly because of school politics. I don’t have to be with shitty and random people who never really cared about my well-being. I no longer have to deal with people who talk behind my back, who belittle the things I do, who see stupidity in my ideals or think lowly of me, judge me or doubt my good intentions. Five months away from these. Maybe I do owe myself this type of break.


“On the brighter side, you’d be away from things and people who had been biased to you, who has hurt you, abandoned you, just because they want to believe that you are the bad person. You can start over thoroughly now and enjoy with the things you really want to do and not waste time.” – my mom happily told me the day I was crestfallen and crying in my hospital bed after learning that I won’t be going back to school this semester. My mom is right in a way.


Physically, I’m incapable right now of dealing with regular school again. I still feel very weak to do long hours of practice even.



The 2419 Experience. 24 and 19 are probably the most significant numbers in my life. Then, 2419 was the hospital line connection we’d had when I was hospitalized a week ago. Ironic, really. Summer time is trying to tell me something. Of all rooms or possible random numbers, I fell into this when I was confined at UST hospital. Coincidence? I prolly was the worst daughter last mother’s day. For at that time being, my relapse was already going massive and giving great pains. My mum and I had to cancel our Zambales trip – our supposedly last getaway over this Summer before school resumes. We spent the day together with my fever getting back every now and then, the scar pains burning and her worrying so much. The skin burns were taking a toll on me and I couldn’t eat any more for it pains anything to touch even just my lips.

The scars were pretty bad at this relapse. The following day, she already had to rush me to the hospital because of lack of food and water intake and the burning sensation the scars had been giving me already were quite unmanageable already. I saw her sacrifice and love like never before. I have no reason to complain whatsoever about this whole decision of not bringing me back to school because of the pain I saw through her eyes this past weeks. I just love her too much to try and defy her this time. I need this break too. It gives my mom peace of mind and heart for my health and it will give me time to think things and priorities through. Last Summer, I learned a good lesson in life after what happened to us. This Summer, I learned another one and am bound to learn more this coming months. I’m pretty much looking forward to it as well, I gotta admit that. =)



Like they said, who needs a diploma at the perfect time when in life, these things cannot be taken with you when you die? You can only take things with genuine value – the things in life you’ve done for others and one for good intention. All these would matter now, for only the non-worldly things you’ve done would be taken into account a the end. I just can’t wait to get back on my feet to go back to my work, to accept another job offer and be enrolled at UP Music and start working on this Berkeleey Online Music Extension works I’ve enrolled for. This is going to be a fun, fun five months!! =)

XO