For a week or two now, I've been having a slight dilemma with uuugh...someone. But perhaps, it's not such a dilemma at all looking back today.
Anyway, a few days back..or a week, I suppose? I have dreaded the idea of it. Eyes are worn out and black were circling around visibly around them. And I found myself singing to some eye-rolling tunes and I found myself grinning like a total moron again. Oh come on girls, you know the symptoms, you know the drill.
So anyway.. it just so happens that I found out that this idiotic, pathetic, good-for-nothing 'uuugh someone' has also got a lot of someones. Hmmm. What kind of stomach does he have?
So I was sitting by the piano one late night and our new helper was clearing away the things around the living room. She's nice and I like her - she's the typical chatty, friendly all smiles you could ask for - and she has good vibes with her all the time.
She asked what was wrong.
I told her it was nothing of importance.
She asked again.
I told her I'm alright.
She asked again. (She doesn't get tired, you see)
So I said it's about this idiotic, pathetic, stupid 'uuugh someone'.
She laughed at me and then suddenly out of the blue, hugged me. I was surprised. She told me incredibly something I always heard of but barely really cared for.
"Alam mo.. Kahit saan ka magpunta, ano man relationship meron ka, ilang years pa yan.. Kahit saan ka magpunta hindi sila mawawalan ng 'someone else'. Lahat ay may someone else, tandaan mo yan. Wag kang malungkot, normal yun. Oo, may love.. pero hindi mo pa nakikita. Hindi dahil may someone else sya eh abnormal na un.. Normal yun. Lalake sila - lahat sila may someone else ng someone else. Seryoso man o hindi. Wag kang malungkot. Makikita mo din sya, pagdating nung time na un.. makikita mo na hindi mo dapat iniyakan lahat ng dati dahil kaya ka nila iniwan ay dahil sa tamang someone else na para sayo. Hayaan mo sya, hayaan mo sila. Bakit ba? Normal na marami silang gusto, bakit ikaw din naman madami kang crush dba? Normal lang un. Hayaan mo lang. Pag may nagmamahal sayo, babalik sya o makikita mo din sya. May asawa man o wala, meron sila parating someone else.. Pero pag para sayo, magiging sayo."
Then she cleared away my bag and bid me goodnight like it was the most normal thing to say in the world. I slept about 2 am after that. I could not help but wonder and think. And maybe, yaya is right.
I just want to live life. No complicated things. Nothing to complicate if you don't think too much. I just want to stop thinking sometimes - and I think we should also learn that.
I really love our new helper. She makes me smile and she's quite informative.
Well, whatever you say yaya.
xx
