it all started the other day. i keep dreaming of the same thing, or rather the same person. keeps me wondering now how he is doing. i hope he's fine, i hope he's alright and i hope he is happy.
life led him to this different try of life and i'm more than proud of him. i hope he knows how much proud i am for the things he has achieved because of his born talent and great discipline and hardwork. he more than deserves all of it.
but it all makes me miss him. a lot, a whole, hell lot.
it's not a secret. no, i don't think it is a secret who i've been inlove with for the longest time - like a forever kind of thing.
it's kinda funny to think that i'm so proud of him and so happy with this great big job that would really help him with career and make him really happy and yet it's the same reason that makes me sad lately. i've been missing him greatly and badly. bad enough maybe that's why i've been seeing him in dreams.
that constant wonder how he is doing, how he is being treated, how are people and work lately - those kind of everyday stuff that you know you can't check once in a while because he is like gazillion miles away from you? those kind of small things you'd want to know - you'd do anything to know about - and yet impossible at the moment. those things that just drive one crazy.
this whole job thing i've taken is so much fun as well. it's like being on his shoes - literary and figuratively speaking, ofcourse. but having this job also meant that he is away. that he won't be around, that he isn't around at all. that there won't be needing to wonder if i'll bump to him around town or that i am certain he is at this specific place at a specific time. no, all i could for for this couple of months is a whole handful of guesswork.
guesswork and prayers that he is a lot alright and better, than i am.
eventually, i'd learn to understand why things are the way they are.
