Yaya Says

For a week or two now, I've been having a slight dilemma with uuugh...someone. But perhaps, it's not such a dilemma at all looking back today.

Anyway, a few days back..or a week, I suppose? I have dreaded the idea of it. Eyes are worn out and black were circling around visibly around them. And I found myself singing to some eye-rolling tunes and I found myself grinning like a total moron again. Oh come on girls, you know the symptoms, you know the drill.

So anyway.. it just so happens that I found out that this idiotic, pathetic, good-for-nothing 'uuugh someone' has also got a lot of someones. Hmmm. What kind of stomach does he have?



So I was sitting by the piano one late night and our new helper was clearing away the things around the living room. She's nice and I like her - she's the typical chatty, friendly all smiles you could ask for - and she has good vibes with her all the time.

She asked what was wrong.

I told her it was nothing of importance.

She asked again.

I told her I'm alright.

She asked again. (She doesn't get tired, you see)

So I said it's about this idiotic, pathetic, stupid 'uuugh someone'.

She laughed at me and then suddenly out of the blue, hugged me. I was surprised. She told me incredibly something I always heard of but barely really cared for.



"Alam mo.. Kahit saan ka magpunta, ano man relationship meron ka, ilang years pa yan.. Kahit saan ka magpunta hindi sila mawawalan ng 'someone else'. Lahat ay may someone else, tandaan mo yan. Wag kang malungkot, normal yun. Oo, may love.. pero hindi mo pa nakikita. Hindi dahil may someone else sya eh abnormal na un.. Normal yun. Lalake sila - lahat sila may someone else ng someone else. Seryoso man o hindi. Wag kang malungkot. Makikita mo din sya, pagdating nung time na un.. makikita mo na hindi mo dapat iniyakan lahat ng dati dahil kaya ka nila iniwan ay dahil sa tamang someone else na para sayo. Hayaan mo sya, hayaan mo sila. Bakit ba? Normal na marami silang gusto, bakit ikaw din naman madami kang crush dba? Normal lang un. Hayaan mo lang. Pag may nagmamahal sayo, babalik sya o makikita mo din sya. May asawa man o wala, meron sila parating someone else.. Pero pag para sayo, magiging sayo."





Then she cleared away my bag and bid me goodnight like it was the most normal thing to say in the world. I slept about 2 am after that. I could not help but wonder and think. And maybe, yaya is right.



I just want to live life. No complicated things. Nothing to complicate if you don't think too much. I just want to stop thinking sometimes - and I think we should also learn that.





I really love our new helper. She makes me smile and she's quite informative.





Well, whatever you say yaya.



xx

Equaminity

I've been meaning to get out of town and getaway from everything for a couple of weeks now. You know, just to get away from the city and be somewhere new, somewhere refreshing - something far from the old and only with the new.

Holidays

My first Starbucks 2011-2012 Sticker. =)

Need to tell you more? Well, Christmas is here. And all the love is as well!!!!! I cannot wait for the holidays. The gift-giving, the meeting with friends from across town and the country, the dinners with your love ones, the shopping of gifts, creating cards for the holidays, the grocery shopping and all other things that this sweet season brings! I love Christmas. It's the best holiday ever. =) It's also the best shopping season.
Every year, I'd go after the SB planner. No matter how creative or fugly it looks, I still go after it. Kinda tradition. Even though I barely write on it and for where I buy another one and where I doodle everything out. Well, the holidays are here! Can't wait.

xo

My uncle's birthday

Oh, the party was overwhelming. I could not remember having a good one in our side having this kind of party.

You'll Have It Back

I lost the previous. And after a long while, I luckily and suddenly found a new one at a bookstore unexpectedly. it will never really replace the first, but it would be something I know that is mine. At the store, the only one left piece. For me.

Over last halloween eve

It was quite a sleepover. It was half planned only but it was quite fun. I miss highschool days the more after this. And hey, here's a healthy breakfast!

We slept around 2 in the morning and we were still craving for some good food and beer. Too bad it lacked. But I learned a lot of things that night. One is that friends I have indeed matured in a lot of ways and second, you lose old friends because you are meant to have new and better ones.

xo

Subway Dinner

I have not tried them till over that last weekend. It was a treat by my favourite uncle in the whole wide universe. It was a quick trip. We went off for church and then browse to a nearby bookstore and then off to a bite for some dinner. The dinner was quick but it was quite meaningful.

Sitting across this person who had meant a lot of deal to me meant a lot. He always inspired my work and he was always counted amongst the handful of people I seek advice for important matters and decisions. My uncle turned 52 just over the weekend and this dinner was something for me. No matter what he has gone through in life and how things had been for him, he would always be a dad and such a big inspiration for me. He was always the one who told me that college is not that important. He is a living evidence of that. He earns more than what some college graduates are earning this days.

It's all about talent and hardwork. And great passion for your work.

Latest Read

I could quite remember how much I promised myself the previous night that I would not be buying anything new, any book until I've finished the one pile I have on my desk at home. But I broke that promise.
On the way to the grocery, I found this on a nearby booksale. Curious and enticed by the cover and title, I quickly scanned through it and the summary behind the cover. It mesmerized me. Tonight, I have it, excited by the chapters. It's been quite a while since I have had the heart to read anything. It's quite a good book. I have not finished the chapters, though it seemed not a happy ending. But I am, happy not about breaking my promise, but by this good deal of a book I managed to get.

It's a must read for all music lovers, ballet dancers and for anyone who has the soft spot and heart for stories about love that is impossible to have.

It's Been A While

It's seriously and literary been a while since I've last written anything. I guess the crazy life I have succumb into had held me back from writing personal things. And I have been hesitant on writing anything at all lately.. life has been.. well, crazy.

Impressed

"You do know now how to study a piece precisely.. I'm impressed!"



This is probably THE BEST compliment I've had had this year. And hopefully, it wont be the last. It's the first time I heard from my major professor that she is, quite impressed with my performance. I cannot stop feeling elated and extremely happy.



Tonight, I can just sleep well after a long time. =)

Another For My Shelf

Another for my shelf. Found this book at a bargain bookstore. I got curious with the title and loved its summary at the back. Has anyone of you guys read this one already?
Good new read for this week. A happy long weekend for everyone! And can’t wait to kick-off the longweekend for Eastwood tomorrow night. Oh Friday, please do come now! =)

xo

dream

it all started the other day. i keep dreaming of the same thing, or rather the same person. keeps me wondering now how he is doing. i hope he's fine, i hope he's alright and i hope he is happy.
life led him to this different try of life and i'm more than proud of him. i hope he knows how much proud i am for the things he has achieved because of his born talent and great discipline and hardwork. he more than deserves all of it.


but it all makes me miss him. a lot, a whole, hell lot.


it's not a secret. no, i don't think it is a secret who i've been inlove with for the longest time - like a forever kind of thing.


it's kinda funny to think that i'm so proud of him and so happy with this great big job that would really help him with career and make him really happy and yet it's the same reason that makes me sad lately. i've been missing him greatly and badly. bad enough maybe that's why i've been seeing him in dreams.


that constant wonder how he is doing, how he is being treated, how are people and work lately - those kind of everyday stuff that you know you can't check once in a while because he is like gazillion miles away from you? those kind of small things you'd want to know - you'd do anything to know about - and yet impossible at the moment. those things that just drive one crazy.

this whole job thing i've taken is so much fun as well. it's like being on his shoes - literary and figuratively speaking, ofcourse. but having this job also meant that he is away. that he won't be around, that he isn't around at all. that there won't be needing to wonder if i'll bump to him around town or that i am certain he is at this specific place at a specific time. no, all i could for for this couple of months is a whole handful of guesswork.

guesswork and prayers that he is a lot alright and better, than i am.


eventually, i'd learn to understand why things are the way they are.

vague

there's just this point where it all is vague. but then, we must just go on.

Solace

As we grow up, we are faced with choice, circumstances, problems and solutions or problems with no solutions, surprises, unwanted surprises - all the things, all the types. Everything - we face them, as we grow up.

jobs

there must be more out there. =)

rain

rain
been raining all day. i have a lot of things to do and people to meet outside. and i’m stuck at home with everyone else because of the storm. =(

must be done:
- update blog
- finalize the event for october
- finish repertoire
- eastwood dinner over
- rehearse for gigs
- a gateway thing

conscience

that part of a person that would drive one totally mad.

oh, i know. justice would be served well.


The moron just made me win single-handedly the long battle I thought I've lost a very long time ago that which I have given up already as a kid.

Long Day

I feel very exhausted with today's events. I have no idea how to feel. Totally. =(

Shangri-la Day

My brother's friend's party. I was tagged and dragged along. It was a REALLY good day. Great japanese food, some coffee talks (exceptionally good chocolate mint coffee), and extremely loooooove pistachio and kahlua brownie. An afternoon of great food and good people. It was fun. =)

Late Orchestra Friends Party

A very late post. Birthday of my dear friend, an orchestra member. Late night dinner and a very late-night coffee talks about friends, life, careers, jobs. It was a fun, fun night. =)

One Day

One day you'll see.. they'd both be in a special certificate. =)

after all this time

always.

Miracles

Ballet had always been something I liked when I was a kid. I thought, I was going to be a ballerina. But then, another arts came my way.

Sometimes, we don't always get what we really ask for. But we get the things that we deserve more. And someday I believe that I have lost hearts and cried a lot from heartbreaks, but one day, I know, it's all because, there's a miracle awaiting to be unfold.





I'm so afraid of change, because I've built my life around you. Now, I have all these taste in life of what it's like to be you.

Day with Friends

Spent Saturday yesterday with my friends that I miss so much from the Conservatory of Music. I was so thrilled at the idea of this lunch-date. We decided to have it at legendary-famous Mamonluk Restaurant at Banaue. The Food was EXTREMELY GOOD at very good price!!! Seriously. You guys gotta try it out for yourself. Servings were also AWESOME! =)

Thank you Lady Tata, Ate Kitkat and Ate Teng!!!!

Can't wait for our Grecian Restau trip later this month.
xo













Views in the Legendary Mamonluk Restaurant






Time to pick foooood!!!







Famous HOTOTAI SOUP







NIDO SOUP






An extremely good SHRIMP FRIED RICE





My order, HOT AND SOUR SOUP






They're famous complimentary soup for which we call THE CONTROVERSIAL SOUP (you don't wanna know)






Gosh, I didn't know the servings were THIS BIG!!!!










Now all that's left.

Graduation

It's going to take some more time. But I cannot wait to graduate, so that someday, I can see the world with you.

I Learned

Last week, I went to a job application over the address written on the scrap of paper. But when I got there, I was just told to leave the resume and the audition was going to be held for another Saturday. It was a rainy day, I had my instrument around my shoulders and I was tired because the way was quite long. And then I was told that. But still, I thanked the office and went off. Along my way going home I met this old man. He too, had the same instrument clinging around his shoulders, only smaller.

The afternoon had been delightful when I had met the man. He was a stranger, but he taught me something that I had to take note of not only for that day, but in life.

Oblivion

..i must, learn.

in a place where i've got what it takes

..in a place where I've got what it takes.






"..I left school, because I was such a drama queen." - Lucia Micarelli

Day with mum

Breakfast Today

She’s always busy and she’s always away. We barely get the chance to eat together at home and I barely see her. But she’s still the best mum for me.
Quite touching. Mum made me breakfast today. Rare feat. =) Thanks, mom! I LOVE YOU. =)

Challenge - Day Six What Band or Musician Is Most Important to You

Day Six What Band or Musician Is Most Important to You

Lucia Micarelli











Okay, sorry it took a while to wrap this one up and took days to post it. I really wanted a nice answer to this.


Growing up, I’ve listened and liked a lot of artists, bands and so-called musicians. Ranking from Mandy Moore, Westlife, Maroon 5, Dave Mathews Band, Yellowcard, The Smiths, Josh Groban, The Calling, The Corrs and random artists that labeled themselves ‘musicians’. I love all of them, up to now. But I didn’t really know what a ‘musician’ was until I’ve reached college.


To be a musician for me is to take more than writing, composing songs or strumming guitar (no pun intended to taylor swift fans here). There’s go to be more. There’s got to be that fire - that fleeting, fiery ecstasy when they perform. Something more and beyond. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is genuine talent. By that too, my answer to the Day 6 Challenge is none other than - Lucia Micarelli.



24, violinist and great performer. A great inspiration for me. She’s the most important musician and influence for me and why I even pursue this course I’ve taken.
Her talent is just beyond and her passion for it ignites everything around her. She’s uncaring of criticism and she just wanted to do her own music. She was trained classically for 7 years at Julliard Music School for which she left and didn’t graduate from because she wanted to do music - the real thing. The real type of music - made for rules, but broken when executed. Pure music, genuine intentions, without fake or thirst for glamour, without fake people who do it for the sake of their names, no nonsense competition amongst colleagues - things that didn’t matter in the long run.


She wanted to be a musician and she made it. A genuine talent who wanted to be away from the box of tradition because she knew that music was meant to be pure and with genuine intentions of the heart.
Diplomas didn’t matter to her either. She knew she wasn’t going to wear it around her neck when she played at bars, concerts and gigs. They weren’t going to check that as long as she played great and well.
Music only mattered. That is music at its purest form and how one should see it.




She’s a great inspiration for me. No crappy things and commercial fake personas around. Just music. She left school because she knew what was significant in the long run, what only really mattered most. She didn’t want to stay and waste time in a place with things and with people who wouldn’t matter, who didn’t believe entirely on what she wanted to do. But she knew what music was and what she really wanted.
Relating a lot to her and her views in music, I admire her the most and consider her the most important musician for me; like she has said,



“There were a lot of things. I was trained classically but I wanted to try things differently, I wanted to play things and I wasn’t allowed to experiment and try things. But I love music. I love the violin. I just want to play."

Cheap Frills

A Cheap Frill I'm Going To Miss








PARES!!!!! I would definitely miss the good pares at Lacson (at the side street at UST). Seriously. A good serving only costs about 35php and it’s reallygood - served hot and yummy!
Growing up, I never had the chance eating street foods, only in college I’ve learned to do all these things. Oh well, might drop by to school from time to time for good lunches with friends, to buy my favourite milk teas and prolly walk around the streets of Lacson and grab myself some pares and siomai. I would miss the foods there! Yeah, street foods - as long as I didn’t how they were made, I shan’t care what’s in it. Haha. That’s my food motto. =)
Note, this photo of pares came from Robert’s Pares Delivery. Didn’t have any cooked dinner at home the other night since grandma wasn’t home for a week and had to suffer various deliveries the whole week because mum didn’t want to cook at all. So I asked for some pares because I was missing it already. Really good too. I never knew such cheap frills were really good.

xo

A Very Late Post On Pirates Day Movie Out

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN Movie Day family day @Gateway !!!!


THE MOVIE WAS JUST AAAAAAAAAAAWEEEEEEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.


This is the first time I’ve gone out since I got hospitalized and got sick for like a month and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And this is the first time we’ve bonded from such looong time already. I enjoyed the day with my mum, dad, aunt, grandma, brother and two cousins.


awesomemovie.awesomefamily.awesomelunch@worldchicken.awesomesweetdesserts.AWESOMEDAY.

We had great lunch @world chicken - they really do serve the best big meals at such good price. Then we headed for popcorn in the movie house. The movie was totally great and I’d love to watch it again, savvy? =) And afterwards, we bought sweet treats (yes, food again). All expense paid by my dad who treated us for his June’s birthday. =) weeeeee loooove you daddy.


Really great day!!! can’t wait for next week where we’ll watch Kung Fu Panda 2 and Xmen: First Class =) yaaaay….
xo




Oh yeah, we passed Katipunan ofcourse on the way home. I seriously miss the place. Haven't been there for more than a month and it's the only place I miss the most.

A Walk Last Sunday

A Walk.


Mum took me for a couple hours of walk today @Trinoma. We wanted to see if my health now permits me to go out and I did get tired easily so we had to hurry home.


It was raining hard and vallet had a long line but we did manage it.
We had walk around, bought some stuff, she wanted some sizzling and halo halo from razon which was good though I find really sweet so I didn’t finish it up. My eating habits are still abnormal. =( Sadly. I need to gain weight man.



Ofcourse we had coffee! I had to go to Starbucks. Yes, I haven’t had that for like a month! I needed one. So while resting we sat at the place and I had my ever favourite caramel drink with soy to make it healthy. Really good. I missed it. Over a month without it. Haha! Then our last stop was FullyBooked. I just really had to go there, seriously. I never go out not passing up the shop looking for new good reads and all. So yeah. The day was tiring. I found out that physically, I’m still really not up to go out and all. So I must stay home and try another walk another time. =)
For the record, today was awesome. =)
xo